


turn your face towards the sun

by orphan_account



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Ember Island (Avatar), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Introspection, Underage Drinking, angst but on a beach, could you read this as suzukka? if you like. dealers choice., three kids chillin drunk on a beach cus theyre child soldiers and traumatized about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:09:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25320667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: (Not for the first time, Suki desperately wished she had Aang’s ability to talk to the past Avatars. What would Kyoshi think of her? Would she see the weariness that settled deep into her bones, the static that crested over her brain, and scoff? Think she was weak, childish?Or would she understand the guilt that settled like a rock in her stomach and remained there; the way sleeping on a soft mattress, eating a homecooked meal, laughing, feeling safe, felt like betrayal?)An Ember Island interlude, featuring the beach, a bottle of sake, and three teenagers with the world on their shoulders and terrible decision-making skills.
Relationships: Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Suki & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 28
Kudos: 479





	turn your face towards the sun

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!! 
> 
> The title is taken from a Maori proverb, and this entire piece was written listening to the Beach House song On the Sea on repeat cus it triggers an existential crisis in me every time I listen to it :)

Suki rested her chin on her knees and looked out at the dark waves crashing on the sand and receding back to the sea. A cool, salty breeze blew gentle off the waves and rustled through her hair, making even the unbearable humidity bearable. 

If she shut her eyes and listened only to the crash of the waves, the wind, the birds, she could pretend she was home. 

Pretend she was safe. 

Pretend her girls were safe. 

Pretend she was happy. 

This newfound freedom- seeing Sokka everyday, being able to go to the market, wearing _red_ \- hurt after the monotony of prison. It was difficult to realize, even harder to admit, but it would be almost easier to be confined by her four cell walls again, where she controlled nothing and wasn’t responsible for anything. 

Not for the first time, she desperately wished she had Aang’s ability to talk to the past Avatars. What would Kyoshi think of her? 

Would she see the weariness that settled deep into her bones, the static that crested over her brain, and scoff? Think she was weak, childish? 

Or would she understand the guilt that settled like a rock in her stomach and remained. The way sleeping on a soft mattress, eating home-cooked meals, laughing, feeling _safe,_ felt like betrayal. 

What would Kyoshi do? 

What was Suki supposed to be doing? 

The heavy clouds above finally gave in, and light drops of cool rain began to fall. She stood and roughly wiped at the tears dripping their way down her cheek and made her way back to the house. 

Zuko, who had been up and running katas when she left, was asleep on the porch, propped up against a wall with his head lolling forward. Suki threw a thin sheet over him before heading inside, quirking a wry smile at the dark hair that fell into his eyes. Some days, she had a tough time connecting the pony-tailed soldier who tried to burn down her village to the awkward, earnest boy who startled at everything and rarely slept. 

More than confusion at Zuko’s transformation, like Sokka, or rage, like Katara, Suki just felt a kindred spirit. 

She couldn’t sleep, either. 

Still, she knew if Sokka woke up and found her gone, he’d be terrified, so she tiptoed silently to the guest room. She stripped off her sweaty tunic before she crawled into the bed and tried not to revolt at the softness of the mattress. 

Sokka stirred and opened an eye blearily. 

“Hi,” he said, voice rough with sleep, and reached over to run his thumb over the tear tracks stained into her cheek. “You okay?” 

Suki shrugged, found that the tears still hadn’t quite stopped coming. 

“I don’t know.” She whispered. Sokka pulled himself up and pulled her closer, planting both his hands on her cheek and kissing her forehead. _Spirits_ \- Suki should _know better_ by now. Every time she thought she pulled herself together, all it took was one gentle touch and she collapsed back into a thousand shards of glass, splintering a little more irreparably each time. 

“I know,” he said. “I know.” 

“I don’t- I don’t know-“ 

Her shoulder shook again. Sokka wrapped his arms around her and held tight while she broke. 

“There’s nothing _to_ know.” He said softly. “I wish I could tell you it’s all gonna be okay, but I just pulled you out a prison and Aang’s training to kill someone and-“ 

Sokka stopped, his breath hitching. Suki held onto him a little tighter. 

“I don’t know anything. Not what’s gonna happen next, not if we’re all gonna make it. I’m not okay.” He said, and his voice cracked. “I haven’t been okay since Mom died. But it’s okay.”

“It’s not.” 

Suki _knew_ her breathing wasn’t coming slow and steady like she’d been taught and in turn taught every girl that passed through her doors. She knew she was digging her nails deep enough into her palms to draw blood, and that the pounding behind her eyes was as much exhaustion as it was this all-encompassing _terror_ that she was going to lose everyone, and that she couldn’t do anything about it. 

So she didn’t control her breathing. 

Her girls- all under her age- in some Fire nation prison. Her island undefended. Nothing was okay. It wouldn’t ever _be_ okay. 

“I know, I know, I know.” Sokka repeated, a mantra, a meditation. He breathed steady and slow and purposeful, and soon, she did too. 

Finally, she stilled enough to pull away. Sokka’s face had grown leaner since Serpent’s Pass. His cheekbones were more defined, the hollows of his eyes darker. 

He looked older in an uncomfortable way, like his skin was stretched too tight over old bones, grown too big too quick. There was a scar through his left eyebrow from Boiling Rock, only just starting to turn a pale, somewhat healed pink, freckles over the bridge of his nose from the hot sun, so much closer to the Earth than at the South Pole. The bags under his eyes were beginning to look chiseled into the soft lines of his face, and Suki gently traced them with her thumb, settling her hand on his cheekbone. Sokka sniffled and clasped her wrist, moving her hand to kiss her palm. 

“I do know one thing,” he said, and his voice was no longer rough with sleep, but emotion. 

“What’s that?” 

“I know that I care about you. That I want you with me. That I want you safe.” He listed off, pressing her hand back onto his cheek. 

It was Suki’s turn to lean forward and kiss his forehead. 

“I love you too, Sokka,” she whispered. 

Sokka huffed a broken little laugh and collapsed into her lap. She ran her fingers through his loose hair and stared out at the full moon, half-visible behind the clouds, through the open window. 

_Thank you,_ she thought. _Thank you for protecting him when I couldn’t. For lighting his way. For teaching him truth and beauty and light._

Suki looked down. Sokka has fallen asleep in her lap. The bags under his eyes had darkened even more. Suki thought of Zuko, alone on the porch, her girls, separated in some prison, 

Of herself. 

She moved him gently out of her lap and pressed up against his back, snaking her arms around his waist and keeping her forehead flush with the back of his neck. She focused on his heartbeat, the steadiness of his breathing, continued, and slept. 

* * *

The sun rose too soon, and Suki woke when Sokka groaned and stretched right off the bed, then flopped back down on top of her. 

“It’s too hot,” she complained half-heartedly as he peppered kisses over her shoulder. 

“It’s _always_ too hot.” He said. 

“Fair.” 

Suki shoved him off after a few minutes in favor of stumbling half-awake to the bathroom and marveling at the wonder of cold water _on demand._

“Are we sure the Fire Nation is _all_ bad?” She mumbled as she doused her sweaty face in the cold water. 

“Pretty sure,” Sokka chuckled, running his fingers through his hair and pulling it up. “Stay still.” 

He came up behind her, and Suki watched in the mirror as he carefully gathered her hair into a top knot and slid the gold hairpin around it, his tongue stuck out in concentration. 

“You gonna be a hairstylist?” She teased, moving so he could have access to the sink and perching herself on the tub. Sokka snorted and stuck his whole face in the sink. 

“Oh, sure. I’ll open up a salon right after we successfully pull off a revolution, install a new Fire Lord, establish a secure foundation for lasting peace, oh, and rebuild my tribe.” He said, drying his face off on a towel. 

“Sounds good.” Suki hummed. “Hey, you should call it _Hairstory._ ” 

“That’s the worst pun you have _ever_ made.” Sokka said. A crash, followed by a shriek and lots of incoherent yelling traveled up from the kitchen downstairs, and he rolled his eyes, grinning. 

“C’mon, we better go make sure the kids are still alive.”

* * *

Katara had already made breakfast, her hair pulled into an uncharacteristic messy bun on the top of her head, and Toph was half-awake, splayed out on the floor. 

As they came down the stairs, Aang and Zuko came in from outside, dripping with sweat. Aang had stripped down to his pants, but Zuko had kept on his light tunic. A thick scar roping over his collarbone peaked out from under his collar, and Suki immediately understood why, since she had a similar one coiled around the low of her hip. 

Like she said. Kindred spirits. 

Aang immediately began chattering to Katara, cheerfully regaling her with tales of their morning practice, while Zuko sat down in a quiet corner of the room and leaned his head back against the wall. Suki watched him out of the corner of her eyes while she helped Katara dole out breakfast to everyone. Zuko didn’t even touch his bowl, even as Sokka went back for seconds and then thirds. 

Finally, Suki padded over to him, holding two cups in her hand. She placed one in front of him and sat down a foot away. 

Zuko picked it up and sniffed it. 

“Coffee?” He asked hoarsely. 

Suki nodded. 

“We drink it all the time on Kyoshi Island. I finally found some in the market last week. Damn merchant tried to scam me out of an arm and a leg for it.” 

Zuko almost smiled when he picked up the cup and took a sip. 

“Uncle loves tea,” he said quietly, wrapping both hands around it. “But the rest of my crew used to go through coffee like water. Guess I sort of developed a taste for it, too.” 

“Maybe that’s why you’re so short.” She teased, bumping his shoulder. 

Zuko scowled and seemed ready to bite back when Sokka flopped down on the other side of him and groaned, 

“Ahh, he’ll grow! I haven’t hit my growth spurt, either.” 

Sokka puffed out his chest and flexed, and Suki snorted. 

“I’m a year older than you. I should have already had mine.” Zuko said, actually smiling now as he took a sip of his coffee. Suki unsubtly pushed his breakfast towards him. Zuko rolled his eyes but picked it up to take a few bites. 

“And what about it?” Sokka asked, still flexing. “I’ll probably be taller than you.” 

Suki thought about how Hakoda towered over everyone else and had to agree. 

“Better not.” Zuko threatened mildly. 

“What does it matter?” Toph yelled from across the room, now sitting up and looking about 50% more awake. “I’ll always be the shortest of all of you!”

“And what does _that_ matter?” Aang groused dramatically. “You’ll also always be able to beat all of us to a pulp.” 

“True.” Toph agreed. “And won’t it be _so_ embarrassing for you when the short little blind girl destroys you dumbasses-” 

” _Toph!”_ Katara chastised in a scandalized tone. Toph stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry at Katara, who immediately put down the dirty dishes she was carrying to the sink and tackled the younger girl into the ground. Toph cackled as she got Katara into a choke hold, and then cackled less when Katara whipped up a spray of dirty water directly into her face. 

“ _You never said we could bend!”_ Toph yelled. 

“You never asked- HAHA!” Katara got her on the ground and put her hands on her hips, triumphant. Aang clapped politely at her victory, but it was short-lived, as the floor was wrenched up and Katara went flying across the room. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake- NO BENDING IN THE HOUSE!” Sokka yelled, standing up to his full height and wagging his finger. “TAKE IT OUTSIDE!” 

“ _FINE!”_ Katara and Toph yelled in unison, barreling out the door to finish their sparring match in the courtyard, Aang flying after them to switch between cheering them on and begging them to stop. 

Sokka flopped down to the ground and ran his hands down his face, groaning. 

“ _Kids.”_ he groaned. “Bending kids.” 

Suki chuckled and when she looked over, Zuko’s eyes were crinkled in a real smile, and he had finished off his breakfast and half of his coffee, too. 

* * *

There was an impressive stash of liquors hidden in the basement of the Fire Lord’s house. When Sokka had found it, rooting through the boxes for extra linens, he had immediately informed Zuko and Suki of his miraculous discovery, and they had solemnly sworn to keep it from the younger kids. Sake was for _adults,_ only fifteen and older, thank you _very_ much. 

Katara, Toph, and Aang were already asleep, wiped from a full day of training, sparring, and getting into arguments with each other. Sokka, brilliant idea man that he was, had swiped a full bottle of Sake, some mango juice to down it with, and a blanket. 

So that’s how Suki got where she was: completely plastered on a Fire Nation beach several hours past midnight, sandwiched between Sokka, who was drunkenly crooning an old Water Tribe drinking song, and Zuko, who was staring up at the stars with an intense concentration. Suki, for the most part, just giggled at their inability to hold liquor and tried to ignore the everpresent rock in her stomach. They might have made an odd trio- the disgraced ex-prince of the Fire Nation, the son of the Southern Water Tribe Chief, and the commander of the Kyoshi Warriors- but there are some things in life you just cannot experience with other people without becoming friends after, and busting out of an impenetrable prison is one of them. 

“ _That_ one,” Zuko pointed directly up at a grouping of stars that Suki wouldn’t be able to distinguish from the thousands of other groupings of stars if someone held a spear to her throat. “That one’s called Raava.” 

“Uh, why?” Suki scrunched up her nose and tried to find anything discernibly different about where Zuko was pointing. 

Zuko reached for her wrist and traced a series of triangles with her hand, connecting bright stars and small specks of light, and suddenly, Suki could see the pattern easier. 

“She’s said to be the spirit of the Avatar.” Zuko said, letting go of her hand. Suki let it drop directly onto Sokka’s head, where she pulled out his hair tie and ran her fingers through his loose locks. Sokka seemed unperturbed and continued his ballad.

“Sailors use that bright star on the point there-” Zuko pointed up at a particular intense star. “To navigate.” 

“Why do you know all this?” She asked, tugging the sake from his hands and taking another swig. 

Zuko shrugged. 

“I lived on a ship for three years. I guess I picked up some things.” 

“Yeah, like how to hunt down a twelve year old to turn into your homicidal father!” Sokka yelled suddenly, but there’s no particular heat behind his words. Zuko flushed and groaned, 

“I _said_ I was sorry!” 

“I know.” Sokka reached over Suki and clumsily pat Zuko’s head. He immediately threw Sokka off. “You’re good now. You’re a good guy. A good, good guy.” 

“Take another sip.” Suki commanded and shoved the bottle at Sokka. 

“Yes ma’am!” He saluted and proceeded to chug at least three shots’ worth. “I’m gonna be _dead_ tomorrow.” 

“What does it matter?” Zuko grumbled. “You don’t have to get up at dawn to train Aang.” 

“No, but we were gonna go into town!” Suki countered. 

“Yeah! We saw this poster for a play and thought maybe we could all go-“

Zuko stilled. He sat up and stared at Sokka with wide eyes. 

“Don’t tell me it was for the Ember Island players.” He pleaded.

“Sorry, bud. It was for the Ember Island players.” Suki said solemnly. 

Zuko flopped back down on the blanket and held an expectant hand out for the sake. Sokka obliged. 

“They _suck.”_ Zuko punctuated this announcement by throwing the bottle at his feet. “My mom used to take us. They butchered _Love Amongst the Dragons_ every year!” 

Suki snickered and reached out to pat his head, and Zuko, surprisingly, let her. 

“Zuko,” She said seriously. “I don’t know how to tell you this. You’re a dork.” 

“I'm a _prince!”_ He yelled, sitting straight up. “And a firebender! Heir to an entire nation!” 

“Dork!” Sokka sang. “Accept it, Prince Hotman.” 

“Shut up!” Zuko growled. Sokka laughed, a deep belly laugh that was at least 90% influenced by the late hour and half-bottle of alcohol in his weak-ass system, and Suki found his hand and held it tight. 

They lay in silence for a minute, staring up at the stars and listening to the crash of the dark waves. 

And somewhere in the silence, the lightheartedness grew heavy. 

“I hope we all make it.” Sokka said quietly. Suki squeezed his hand. 

“We will.” She said firmly. 

“You can’t know that.” Zuko said. His voice was a quiet kind of confident, like he knew it from experience and wished he didn’t. 

Suki nudged her shoulder against his. 

“I can, and I’m telling you know. We will.” 

“We have to at least keep the kids safe.” Sokka said. “We have to.” 

Suki thought of Katara, only eighteen months younger than her but with a compassion that she would let kill her before she let go of it.

Of Toph, who thought she had to pretend nothing bothered her for her incredible strength to be valid. 

Of Aang, who was quite literally the kindest person Suki had ever met. 

Of her girls, locked in a prison where she couldn’t reach them and couldn’t protect them while she drank on a beach. 

“We will.” She promised. “We will keep them safe. We’ll all be safe. I promise.” 

Zuko was a rock next to her, and Sokka lifted her hand to press a kiss to the back of it. They stayed out for several more hours, mostly in silence, passing the bottle until it was empty. Somehow, the thought of getting up to go to bed didn’t cross any of their minds, and when the sun began to rise, painting the sky in light pinks, brilliant oranges, they sat shoulder to shoulder and watched the day begin again.

**Author's Note:**

> Is it OOC for katara to straight up tackle toph? Perhaps. Do I think katara should just gone “tired of being nice. Going apeshit now.” More often in the show? Yes.
> 
> Also: My girl Suki deserved more of a backstory :( as always, my tumblr is ta1k-less!


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